Betrayal at the hands of another Woman...ouch!

Being betrayed by men is common knowledge now especially towards women who have decided to live truthfully and out loud. We are learning how to hold our boundaries with these betrayals, take care of ourselves and learn and grow into a wiser self. There are many others who are willing to support us on our quest to empower ourselves after centuries of abuse at the hands of men.
     What happens when it's at the hands of other women?
I am not talking about the petty stuff that we all do at some point in our lives like looking one another up and down when you enter a room (especially if your single and exude it!) or the moment you disagree and it becomes ugly because you see the true colors of a woman you thought was a friend. I'm not talking about these normal "she" situations that happen. I'm talking about the betrayal that takes generations of women to come up and out to be healed. This betrayal is sneaky, illusive and constantly has it's hands around your throat. It keeps you from constantly choosing the wrong guy or work. It keeps you from comprehending your own worth. You can read self-help books, pray, do ceremony and manage it. This helps but so many will live an entire life and not know what it was that kept them quiet, subdued and confused. Betrayal from men can certainly do this but a woman who is seeking herself intentionally eventually comes out of this and lives a happy life.  There are different types of betrayal from women but they can all damage you just as deeply.

1. Betrayal from a woman in a power position. This can be at work, within the justice system maybe at a financial institution or at your kids school. There are women everywhere who have taken on male thought and eased their discomfort of being a woman in this time by implementing the masculine systems. I understand this is necessary to a degree and to be able to operate in this society but when it is used to intentionally or not to hurt another woman the wound is deeper. An example of this is a woman being the boss in your job does everything possible to keep you down, unheard and even belittle your expertise, experience and knowledge. When it's off the charts they will lure you in making you feel like they're your friend and on your side but when it comes to being in the meeting or giving your review they turn on you and use policy against you to make you appear inexperienced, inappropriate and/or unprofessional. This can cause you to be demoted, lose a job and worse question yourself and your abilities.

2. Betrayal by close friends, sisters really suck! These women know you intimately and know what hurts you and use it against you when the opportunity arises. I have been very blessed here because I have not experienced it. I have, however, been witness to it and it's dirty and ugly. There are women out in the world who know exactly how to manipulate people in such a way that they are believable. They are usually the super fun women who get a lot of sexual attention and who have never experienced enough pain to know really what they are made of. They are not self made women and they resent it. Granted, most of this can happen subconsciously but the cut is still sharp and deep. They are quick to judge and gossip. They will throw you under the bus in a heart beat especially if you are a beautiful, strong and smart woman. I have a sister who isn't my sister by blood but I will do anything for her and I've witnessed women in her life do this to her many times. She is kind hearted, loving and always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and because she does this so clean and with conviction it creates a power in her that is unshakable so for women who aren't, she can be very intimidating. I've seen her heart broken and sad at the hands of irresponsible women she trusted and called friends. I don't even know how to end this one except to say that it's disgusting and damaging and the only explanation I can attempt is these women are also hurting and dying to be validated for their existence and have never been given permission to be true to themselves and so resentment grows creating a "scorned" woman.

3. Betrayal by family. This one is...well, can cause so much damage that you may not ever recover unless you are diligent to get to the other side. This one is disguised in "I don't want to cause more hurt", "let be bygones be bygones", "let what happened in the past stay in the past", "That's not what I meant", "she probably asked for it", "She lies a lot", "She's just moody" ...this list is endless! These are the family secrets that no one talks about because they just don't know how or can't stand being perceived as anything other than the perfect, faith filled family. I recently experienced this and it completely side swiped me because I was not expecting it at all. I've done so much work around my damage from men but it never occurred to me that I had ever been psychologically or spiritually hurt by women much less in my family. I thought that women remaining silence in my family was a strength I would never understand or have the discipline to practice. What that silence did was make me wrong and take full responsibility for being raped, molested. It was my fault that men did this to me. Men and boys left the dining table when I sat to eat as to not eat with a whore and the women in my family allowed this behavior and treatment of me. I use my story here but it has happened to others and I've experienced it. When women are so dis-empowered that their silence perpetuates pain and damage in their children, nieces, granddaughters the pain becomes systemic and generational. This is much harder to heal but possible. To women reading this who have experienced this, I say as a woman and in place of those women in your family who are not able to say it,
     
"I'm so sorry for not defending you. I'm sorry for not speaking up at the injustice. I'm sorry. I love you and it is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You have done everything right by attempting to be your true self."

It is possible to grow from these experiences by holding fast to your boundaries, being good to yourself and most importantly stopping this disfunction with you.
We have all been the betrayer in some way in our lives because this is how the current system is set up. It is set up to keep us against each other, quiet, confused and small. I believe with my whole heart that all women can return to truth with enough love and acceptance.
Together, anything is possible and I hope this validates you and you find some strength in it to begin exuding your true self and begin rebuilding trust of your intuition. I wish you friendships with women who have your best in their thoughts and who are secure in themselves enough to give you your own stage to shine!
Abrazos